


1%

by potatooneandtwo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Break Up, lots of murderous intent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26440048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatooneandtwo/pseuds/potatooneandtwo
Summary: Doyoung could not, for the life of him, put the blame on Jaehyun.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 89





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**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ this is my first (hopefully not the last) NCT fic! I'm excited and nervous. I was supposed to force myself to write my other wip but well, I can't help it.
> 
> Some (not so important) notes:  
> 1\. tw for murderous intents? and mentions of dying. nothing serious though, don't worry  
> 2\. I don't have anything against managers or professors, heh.  
> 3\. ENJOY~

Studies show, for first love relationships, only 1% of the lot has a chance of surviving and having that happy ending.

Well, Doyoung has no other choice but to blame sciences as to why his relationship failed seeing the other option failed - _is failing_ : blame Jaehyun.

To be fair, he did try. Like aggressively tried to paint Jaehyun as the bad guy. Still is. _Maybe._ Because if there was anything Doyoung was good at, it was at trying -doing- his best to achieve goals. The goal for this particular one is to pinpoint where or why it all went wrong. The fault was _definitely_ not with him, and since it took one to let go of this stupid tango they started a few short years ago, then its most likely the other person's fault. _That's Jaehyun_. It was in Doyoung's best interests too, to try and put the blame on Jaehyun.

As an experienced MC from events during his time in school, Doyoung knows how to bullshit his way through anything. Especially making up ways to entertain the audience while the backstage is either burning down from some rookie mistake or frantically waiting for an asshole of a guest. Not in most cases of course, just those special, specific ones that tested his patience. He has a lot of that. Patience. He has a lot to spare too of his patience and professional bullshitting ways to come up with various reasons why Jaehyun's a bad guy.

Jaehyun is a mess. He has a stupid face that he uses to manipulate people. _He is that evil!_ Everything he touches, breaks, _like his heart - oh s_ hut up!- plus he sucks at cooking and cleaning. He doesn't know how to listen. He is cocky, arrogant and so full of himself and _and god,_ Doyoung was never good at lying.

Truthfully, all he wants to do right now is go back to his apartment, crawl under his covers and sleep. Forever sounds enough time to make everything not hurt. But no, he had to be prideful and stubborn and had to be in a relationship- _former relationship_ \- with an equally prideful and stubborn guy, that Doyoung found himself here, in front of a classy restaurant trapped in this stupid arrangement just because they both couldn't bite the bullet and say they broke up so they won't be coming as a pair to their friends' engagement party. There was a mute, mutual understanding between them that if they did, they're going to ruin it for everybody.

The thought of Taeyong and Johnny's engagement party turning into an awkward place for everyone for they would be walking on eggshells around the two of them because their relationship didn't work - _even after five hundred fifty days!_ \- was something Doyoung and surely Jaehyun - if he really was who Doyoung thought he was- will never allow. After all the pining their friends went through, the party should be nothing else but celebrating their happiness. Even if again, yes, Doyoung would very much prefer to be in the comfort of his bed, surrounded by stuffed toys who will _never leave_ him for stupid, none-of-it-makes-sense reasons.

_"You don't deserve me"_ and _"I just want what's the best for you."_

Well, _fuck_ that. _Fuck_ Jaehyun too and his garbage of logic. They can rot in hell.

But Doyoung was going to hell too. They agreed that they were both going to hell. Doyoung is a company manager and Jaehyun is a college professor, _duh_. Also, despite their distinct personalities and competitiveness their relationship did work out, they were compatible. _Even if it was only for five hundred fifty days_.

_God_ , stupid pillow talk topics and stupid memories. He can even hear Jaehyun calling his name softly now.

Doyoung badly wants to curl up and die at the very moment. Through that he can get to hell first, manipulate their government system and by the time Jaehyun gets there they are already working in his favor. He can make Jaehyun miserable. He can watch Jaehyun and his crying, blotchy face beg for his mercy.

Closing his eyes, Doyoung evens his breath, mentally willing his stomach to stop twisting at the mere thought of Jaehyun's hurt physically showing on his face.

_Why_ did he have to still care about Jaehyun's hurt when all it took for Jaehyun was one step out of his apartment to leave their relationship and Doyoung?

"Doie?"

Snapping his eyes open, he turns to his side and sees newly arrived Jaehyun, puffing clouds of air, windswept hair, bundled up under layers with an expression that makes him freeze in anger and melt in hurt simultaneously. It also made him forget to correct his calling of his nickname after alarms finished blaring because _why_ was Jaehyun still looking at him like _that_ \- like he still believes Doyoung was the love of life as much as Jaehyun was his?

If Jaehyun wasn't born a gentleman and kind in all sorts of ways, maybe blaming him for his heartache wouldn't be this hard. Or maybe if Doyoung was born spiteful and filled to the brim with hate, he wouldn't be this hurt.

_If only he doesn't love him anymore._

"Are you okay? I've been calling you for a while now," Jaehyun whispers, eyes assessing him, hands hovering hesitantly.

_No._ The answer is no. It has been forty-three days since they last saw each other. Their break up was silent and confusing but Doyoung would prefer they had screamed profanities at each other and threw words they surely don't mean because then they can apologize for being riled up and saying things out of anger. Then they can make up and love again. But no, Jaehyun had to, _out of nowhere_ , say in the beginning of a dinner Doyoung had so meticulously prepared to make up for the weeks he was forced to cancel on him that he wants to break up with him. Because what?

_"You don't deserve me" and "I just want what's the best for you"?_

_Bullshit._

Doyoung wanted to fight him that night, wanted to something, anything to keep Jaehyun from leaving. But _Jaehyun-_ Jaehyun's face when he asked him to break up still haunts him.

Jaehyun has a resting bitch face, usually and his blank expression was his default. Never in his presence though. Over the five hundred fifty days of their relationship, Doyoung had first hand experience of the myriad of faces Jaehyun could make. It was an absolute delight to see them that a week into their romancing, Doyoung had started to catalog it under different drawers in his head, just so he can keep track of the ones he had already seen and those that he has yet to witness bloom on Jaehyun.

It was easy to read Jaehyun when you try hard enough, and that's what he is good at remember? Doyoung doesn't regret indulging himself into learning and collecting them. Or perhaps, thinking about it now he did regret then, sitting frozen across Jaehyun, waiting for his carefully placed mask of determination to break and reveal the person he loves, who he hoped at that time was only hurting and wasn't thinking straight. He could deal with that. Doyoung could hold him close and whisper reassuring love letters in his ears.

But it didn't crack, a sign that it was what Jaehyun wanted. Slowly, his heart chipped away, piece by agonizing piece, as the silence stretched after he received the reason why Jaehyun wanted to break up, as Jaehyun pushed his untouched plate, stood up, bowed and walked away.

The familiar burning behind his eyes jostles Doyoung awake and registers the light caresses Jaehyun was drawing on his knuckles to capture his attention again. It scalds his skin, feeling the soft pads of Jaehyun's fingers against his rough ones, so he wretches it away and wraps his other hand protectively. He almost regrets it, after catching the flash of hurt under the surprised face Jaehyun made at his action, but the knot of complicated feelings twists painfully inside him.

What was his business looking hurt, when he was the one who wanted the break up? How dare Jaehyun touch him like he hadn't stomped on his heart mercilessly?

"Let's just get this over with," Doyoung snaps, straightening his stance. He will not be at Jaehyun's mercy. He will remain strong until he is in a safe space where he can crumble and ask himself again what went wrong with him. "Then we can get out of each other's hair for good."

Jaehyun sighs before assembling his chosen mask for the day. Doyoung's breath hitches inaudibly when Jaehyun smiles wide and cheeky and _fake_ , offering his hand. _Fuck._ They were supposed to pretend to still be in love with each other.

At least Doyoung won't have a hard time doing that.

_Ha!_ _Take that Jaehyun!_

Taking the proffered hand, Doyoung wills his sweat glands to release more than they should so Jaehyun will be left with clammy palms to hold.

"Alright, _baby_. Remember to cling all you want, okay?"

It took all of him to not swipe his stupid face and equally stupid dimpled smirk for looking cocky.

_Fuck him_ , honestly. His smug face doesn't match the lilt in his tone, the cause of turning Doyoung's insides into mush, when he uttered his endearment.

_Baby._

Doyoung tips his nose up, "Well, _sweetheart_ ," he squeezes his fingers that Jaehyun winces "worry about yourself because your acting skills is next to none. Good luck in making them believe."

Jaehyun furrows his brows at the implication and returns "And you're any good?"

_No._ He won't need to pretend after all. But Jaehyun _definitely_ , doesn't need to know that. No more leverage for this heart-breaker.

"Have you forgotten my impeccable display of acting when I'm asking for favors from people I absolutely despise?"

The bark of laughter Jaehyun let out was reminiscent of every single time he was surprised and consequently amused by Doyoung's wit and entertaining abilities. "Yeah, I remember that one time with Professor Han-"

Doyoung looks away, not wanting to see the dark dawning on Jaehyun's face. An awkward cough, then he was tugged gently.

"Come on, Doyoung," Jaehyun murmurs "We can't be late."

_Because you hate being late_ was the unsaid words, but Doyoung refuses to acknowledge that. It might have only been _forty -three days-_ not enough for either of them to forget the other's small intricacies but surely enough to know not to let yourself hope.

Especially Doyoung.

When they entered the restaurant and directed to the private room their friends rented, Doyoung let his mind wonder, only half annoyed that he automatically relaxed in Jaehyun's hold allowing himself to be lead out of habit. It was a feat only Jaehyun achieved out of all of the people in his life.

It's well known that Doyoung had a firm grip on himself and refuses to bend on anyone's will, especially if its against his, but Jaehyun somehow convinced him, it's okay to relax around him, that he can trust him to not trigger his desire to be in control. In retrospect, he should be more annoyed, faced with the fact they were no more _but alas_ he was only half annoyed, for half of him was already drained to put up a fight. Only because he'll be needing the energy again later, when their show of still being together begins.

The restaurant was brilliantly lit, ambiance serene and rich. High wooden ceilings with sparkling chandeliers, round tables covered with intricately painted cloths, beautiful flower center pieces and candles. It smells absolutely divine too. Taeyong and Johnny really didn't hold back for the venue of an engagement party. What more for their wedding?

Now that he thinks about it, he should ask Taeyong if they have decided the wedding's theme and color scheme so he and Jaehyun can plan for suits... _that_ don't need to match anymore and doesn't need to be bought together either because _again_ \- _who was he trying to convince here? And why aren't they convinced yet?-_ they have broken never-getting-back-together up. Surely by the time of the wedding, they have already been obvious enough even without announcing it and be done with it.

Well, at least he knows what's for tomorrow's dinner. Doyoung will have barbecue and he will use the fashion magazines he bought to build fire because there's no point in checking out for outfits alone, when Jaehyun can't fulfill his promise to look at them with him- Can he _stop_ making everything about Jaehyun?

"Doyoung?" Jaehyun tugs at his hand, tugging him out of his warring mind as well.

"What?" he returns with an annoyed huff.

Jaehyun uses his left hand to tap on his iron grip on his right "You're kinda hurting me."

Doyoung glares, rage blinding him for a second. Who's fault was it that they were in this idiotic situation in the first place? He huffs and grits out "And you kinda _deserve_ it."

He wanted to call him names: bastard; asshole; jerk; son of a bitch. Ah, but that would be lying. Jaehyun was his parent's son, he is a gentleman, he is polite and respectful and Mama Jung loves Doyoung like her own. Doyoung also, as stated, wasn't a liar.

"Sorry," Jaehyun gripes but was staring down at their joined hands, lost in thought.

Mother _fucker_. How was he supposed to retort now? _Seriously!_ How hard is it to not think about Jaehyun for one second so he can inflict the same pain he was still brewing inside? How hard is it to not be affected by the pitiful gleam in Jaehyun's eyes as he gazes, inquisitive, at him?

Jaehyun open his mouth, thinks against it and averts his eyes.

They were back again, to this weird abyss where Doyoung can't seem to decide whether he's going to cry or snap someone's neck and Jaehyun keeps on mismatching his tone and expressions.

"Doyoung! Jaehyun!" Someone from their right calls, cutting off the nonverbal conversation they were having. It was Taeyong. Pretty smiling Taeyong with his silver dyed hair tied neatly, waving his hand where his engagement ring glitters under the lights "You guys are early."

"I wanted to help Taeyong, you know that."

"You know Doie, hyung. He always gets antsy when he can help but didn't."

They simultaneously say, but only Doyoung and his instantaneous reactions, turn to look at the other. To anyone it might come across insulting, the eye roll was heard in Jaehyun's tone, but underneath the exasperated surface, Doyoung heard it loud and clear- the same fondness that ruined Doyoung's insecurities regarding his worrywart self.

He immediately let go of Jaehyun's hand and walked away. It was either that or crouching on the floor to lecture himself again about letting go and moving on. He met Taeyong halfway.

Taeyong was giggling when he opened his arms for a hug in lieu of a greeting. He turned to do the same for Jaehyun and Doyoung refuses to feel petulant at not being hugged by Jaehyun in greeting earlier.

_Stupid warm hugs._

"I was expecting it to be honest." Johnny appears from behind Taeyong and another round of hugs were given. "I'm curious though as to what you bribed Jaehyun with this time to come so early with you."

It elicits a laugh out of all of them. Automatic response on his part. Although he did feel Jaehyun tense up a little. _Why?_ Because its _true_ now?

It was a running joke within their friend group that Doyoung often resorts to bribing Jaehyun to get him to do things he wants or his way. Jaehyun was, in a nutshell, independent. He was comfortable with being alone, doing things alone, safekeeps his zone, refuses invites when his presence isn't needed anyways, and he, like Doyoung, likes to be in control over his life.

The first time they brought it up, Doyoung spiraled into a worried fit of crossing boundaries with Jaehyun. He became hesitant with his touches because he handles people without a second thought, careful with his words that might come across as assertive and backtracks when he, without so much a thought, gives an order.

Jaehyun notices this three days after. He sat Doyoung down in his cramped apartment, smaller but more homey than Doyoung's would ever be and pinned him with his piercing gaze. Intimidating to others, but betrays Jaehyun's patience when its on him. Then his lips curled up at the corners, small and tender.

_"You do know that I love you more right?"_

Doyoung remembers frowning, not understanding the direction of the sudden conversation. Were they suppose to one up the other on who love who more? Because that was a futile argument to start. And he says it so. Jaehyun had laughed in reply, the burst of giggles behind his smiling lips where its followed by his eyes closing into crescent moons, his dimples digging deep and whiskers appearing. Then Jaehyun leans close, removes his smile for a moment to press a butterfly on his pout from not being taken seriously, and when he pulled away his smile simmers into a gentle, fond curl.

_"I agree that would be a useless topic for debate."_ Jaehyun had kissed his fingers then. The skin there rough and patchy, but he seems to love tracing them, not that Doyoung could begin rationalizing why for the millionth time, because he was far too enchanted by Jaehyun's patented heart eyes. _"I would have won, anyways."_ He remembers freeing one hand to slap him and Jaehyun simply received the hit with another giggle and took his hand back in his hold. That time, when Jaehyun sets his gaze on him, Doyoung felt goosebumps rise, his heart thundering loudly in his ears, because of the sheer reverence they hold.

_"I love you more than whatever you think your flaws and shortcomings are."_ Then his expression turned cheeky _"Because me saying you're perfect in my eyes would spark another argument with you about how that's realistically impossible."_

He huffed in response, pinching Jaehyun's plump cheeks before he began to lecture him about how flaws and imperfections are innate to human nature to distract himself because he was one soft word away from bawling waterfalls. Recognizing the glint in Jaehyun's gaze while he begs for relief for his poor cheeks, Doyoung knows he could definitely say that one soft word heavy enough to break the dam holding his waterworks in.

Jaehyun made him emotional. Which is very much unhelpful right now, because Doyoung is left alone to feel them.

_"Baby?"_

_There! See?_ It's the same glint.

But he broke up with him. Jaehyun ruthlessly broke his heart with some telenovela level of an excuse - he couldn't even come up with something original than those ready-made ones- and Doyoung holds unto that reality more than what's necessary.

Maybe when his fists finally crushes the virtual representation of that fact, he can- he can-

"Baby? Doie?"

"What?" He was tired. He was honest, to absolute goodness tired at agonizing over their break up alone since its quite obvious that Jaehyun didn't need much time to get himself back. Did he even have anything to recover from? How much of Doyoung did Jaehyun remove from his life to quickly bounce back on his feet to be able to pretend as easy as he was doing currently? Was there even much to dispatch? Did Jaehyun really love him as much as he made Doyoung feel?

Doyoung bites the inside of his cheek. It was the reason why he's still hoping: Jaehyun gave him love. The only one he cherishes.

"Come on," Jaehyun whispers, wrapping an arm around his waist to put him into motion.

It tingles his skin despite the layers he was wearing. Warm, familiar. Can they pretend the past forty-three days was only a bad dream?

When they got inside the reserved room, Jaehyun lets his arm fall. He almost whimpered at the lost.

_Pathetic._

As he sees Jaehyun unwind his scarf, Doyoung sighs, pinches his thighs to wake himself up and reminds himself to just moan and groan his woes later when he's alone, and started to remove his coat as well.

Doyoung was eyeing where Taeyong was directing some waiters on where to place what decor when his peripherals catches sight of what Jaehyun was wearing underneath and he stops.

It was a given that Jaehyun is handsome. Anyone would agree and take a second look when you happen to pass him by. But the brown crewneck sweater he was wearing over that beige turtleneck was something Doyoung was familiar with. It opens some of his favorite memories, that was, after all, his exact attire during their first holiday together, back at Jaehyun's hometown.

Doyoung had been hesitant to go with him then. They were just a few months in and he was already meeting his family. His parents and his beloved grandmother. Jaehyun holds his family on a high regard and from stories he shares, they hold him very dearly too. What if they were disappointed? He was Jaehyun's first relationship after all.

How that happened, he doesn't know. He refuses to accept Jaehyun's teasing of _"I was waiting for you Doie! I'm only yours"_ either.

_Look what that progressed into._ Pettiness is his second name. He isn't above hurting himself too, as of the moment.

His worries were all for naught when they greeted them. Jaehyun's family adored him like their own and Doyoung couldn't help but be emotional at their warm hugs and loving pats. Only one step into Jaehyun's childhood house, he immediately felt akin to being welcomed home.

Something he wasn't familiar with. Now his chance at experiencing that ever again is taken away with the click of his apartment door.

He wonders if Jaehyun told his family.

He wonders if he told them a different reason.

But whether he lied about why they split or told them the truth, shouldn't matter to him anymore.

Doyoung exhales, and shrugs his overcoat off, completely ignoring the questioning look being thrown at him by Jaehyun when he passed him to get to where Taeyong was growing frantic.

He can't have someone else steal his spotlight for being extra dramatic today.

It was a blur after that. As it usually was when he throws himself into organizing. Its almost cathartic how he was able to ignore his aching heart and set aside himself to laugh along when Jaehyun and Johnny started to bicker about where to put the balloons, sigh with a giggle when Taeyong screamed murder after Jaehyun popped some because he was a little shit, bark orders as per norm and paste a genuine smile when their other friends arrived. He thought he could survive the rest of the day until Jaehyun ruins it.

_Again._

After the introduction and small session of teasing the to be wed, supper was served. Doyoung was thankful because he had been starving. He was so close to accepting the candy Jaehyun had poked at his arm for half an hour before giving up. He was definitely going to dismiss the fact that it was his favorite, though.

Thank god his bitterness won and he was able to wave the offer off with a low "Not now, I'm taking pictures." Well, it was a valid excuse. He really was taking pictures. If some of them had Jaehyun's side profile, it was between him and his stuffed toys after he shows them who was the reason for his wet pillows when he gets to bed.

Doyoung could also easily brush that interaction off as Jaehyun having a keen hearing. He heard his stomach grumbling despite the music and loud chatters thus the offer. Nothing else.

This however, he can't ignore.

It started small.

While their meals were being placed in front of each guest, Jaehyun, stupid, _can't-mind-his-own-business_ Jaehyun pushed his just laid plate towards him, with no prompting while Doyoung was dividing the portions he got. He was in the middle of transferring some when realization zaps him.

The action itself was minuscule, easy to disregard by their tablemates but he was Doyoung, who, upon relaxing and getting influenced by the happy buzz of their friends' engagement and the sort of reunion with their other friends forgot that he was with his _ex_ , pretending they were still together and mindlessly set aside a portion of his meal to give to Jaehyun because that was how they were when they eat out. Doyoung knows how much he could eat so every meal he receives, before eating he will give the part he's sure he won't finish to Jaehyun.

The alarmed blink Jaehyun gives him a beat after his realization spoke volumes of how subconscious the act was. After faking a cough, Doyoung proceeded to continue. He'd rather not waste food, that's all.

Then Yuta, Taeyong's half-brother and their mutual friend, apparently catching their exchange, teasingly offers his plate to him too. Which he made a face at.

"Ah, Jaehyun and his _boyfriend_ privileges."

Doyoung all but chokes on his rice. Jaehyun wasn't spared if his small cough was anything, but was quick enough to recover to press a glass of water against his hand.

He was only helping him not die. That is what anyone would do when someone suddenly chokes right? And anyone would also caress his back while he recovers.

God, the heat of Jaehyun's palm wasn't calming at all.

Ten, another friend, just had to be there at that very moment too, after chattering someone's ears off from the table beside them, to coo at their display.

"Look at that! Our resident married couple doing what married couples do," Ten chirps, unhelpful, and hollers to where Taeyong and Johnny were greeting their other guests "Hyung! Our old couple here is stealing your thunder with their old couple ways!"

Another running inside joke. Jaehyun and him bicker a lot even before they got together, _like an_ _old married couple with years of tolerating each other's presence_. Jaehyun matches his wit and sarcasm while Doyoung does not get offended by Jaehyun's dry humor and sharp tongue. Its all fun and games for the two of them of course and it took time for their friends to not worry that their relationship was in danger.

_Ha! Joke's on them._

Taeyong runs to them pulling Johnny along after politely excusing themselves from their other guests and he is absolutely scared of what Taeyong's scheming eyes hold.

He turns to Jaehyun for help, by instinct and immediately gets thrown off. Jaehyun's ears were red. Nothing new. He doesn't like being the center of attention despite being a college teacher for three years now. What's new is that Jaehyun wasn't looking at him with teasing eyes, as per norm when Doyoung is the victim of their friends' gags. No. What's new is that Jaehyun was also staring at the approaching couple with a carefully veiled horror in his eyes.

_What?_

Taeyong bounces excitedly, tapping Johnny's arm as though to prompt the taller man to speak. "I'm sure they're more domestic now," Johnny giggles.

Doyoung was able to steal another glance at Jaehyun's frozen expression before Taeyong dropped the bomb. "He did purchase a flat with a bigger kitchen and so much floor space you can roll around without care!"

Ten squeals. Yuta makes hooting sounds and then their table of friends were congratulating them for finally taking that step.

_What step?_

"So Doyoung-hyung," Jungwoo, Jaehyun's junior and college roommate, leans from his other side with a conspiratorial whisper "how was the master bedroom? Lovely, right?"

Doyoung blinks, lost. Another round of hoots and claps on his back and the endless teasing. Uncharacteristically not in the know, because Doyoung always knows, he takes a breath to make sense of the situation. Unless it was a surprise. Only one person has been capable of surprising him though. Doyoung turns to Jaehyun.

"I- _uh_ ," Jaehyun swallows small, eyes anywhere but him - he can really pass as an actor with how fast he arranges his face- and grins, his red ears aiding him in his embarrassed excuse "-haven't asked him... yet?"

"What? You've been planning on asking him for a whole two months!" Taeyong shrieks, hitting Jaehyun's back in reprimand, blissfully unaware of the turmoil they had instill in him.

"I- _eh_ -"

"Ask me _what?_ " Doyoung demands, interrupting, unable to tone down the sharpness in his voice.

There were loud shock expressed and Doyoung can even imagine a cricket in the background. But he pays them no mind, focusing on picking apart Jaehyun. Only then does Doyoung notice, the slight hollowing of Jaehyun's healthy cheeks, his natural eye bags somehow a little heavier and his eyes as honest as it was whenever Jaehyun confesses his love for him.

He can't be miserable as he was.

_Can he?_

Slowly, as though being directed by one being, their friends slips away with sheepish expressions at what they might collectively think was a ruined surprise.

Planning what for two months? For sure Jaehyun knew by then that he was out of love of Doyoung and already contemplating breaking up. Why waste time for some surprise?

When Jaehyun doesn't answer and remained looking down at his nervous fingers, Doyoung pulled at his arm and lead them out and into the balcony just beside the private room they were in. Releasing his hold on Jaehyun as soon as they were out, Doyoung walks ahead to take a breath.

It was fucking cold outside and he really should've had the mind to take his coat with him - Jaehyun can freeze for all he cares- but his head was reeling.

What were they talking about?

What plans?

_Ask what?_

Then warmth envelopes him. Whirling around he finds Jaehyun, arms up in a placating manner. His movement jostling the coat placed on his shoulder. Doyoung mechanically lifts the fallen side. Of course Jaehyun remembers. When Doyoung forgets little things, he can trust Jaehyun to remember.

Whether it be cash money, his daily dose of chocolate drink or his coat.

"Ask me what Jaehyun?" he wonders softly this time, eyes on Jaehyun's reddening cheeks and nose. It pinches his heart to know that Jaehyun took his coat first before his own. Now he's gonna freeze and die, and he'll go to hell first.

Surely he'll make everything comfortable before Doyoung arrives.

The thought, as morbid as they were, fills Doyoung with love. Although still somehow doubtful of how Jaehyun feels about him, Doyoung allows himself, the first time in forty-three days to bask in the love Jaehyun had taught him to feel.

That he had shared with him.

That he _hopefully_ still does.

"I managed to save enough," Jaehyun begins, staring hard at the a random tree the vast green scenery offers "for a bigger, better place."

It was no secret that Jaehyun lived a humble life. He was free from attachments to material pleasures and luxuries. Both because he can't afford them and because he has no desire for it.

"Why?"

Jaehyun huffs, although this time humorless.

Doyoung scrunches his face at that. It was Jaehyun's reply, usually amused though, whenever he asks questions he already knows the answer to.

_He was going to ask him to move in with him._

Hugging himself to prevent his arms from hugging the man in front of him without proper answers, Doyoung prods "Why then?"

_Why did you break up with me?_

Jaehyun turns his gaze to him this time. Pained yet still affectionate. Doyoung longs to hold him.

Then Jaehyun chuckles, low and pitiful, looking away again. It was obvious that he was debating his next words, but eventually gives up. He physically deflates when he confesses "I didn't know you were an heir, Doyoung."

Doyoung gasps loudly, the cold nipping his skin even with his heavy coat. Hands reaching out for Jaehyun before he disappears. Before he can even think of leaving again.

_No._

Clutching desperately at the sleeves of Jaehyun's brown sweater, Doyoung croaks out "Jaehyun-"

Jaehyun shakes his head, cutting him off, but stays in place. "I know how privy you are with your personal life. I respect that, that's why I never asked. I did wonder why we can never date in very public places but I wanted you comfortable first and foremost so I never fussed. I did hope you'll get around someday though."

Shit. _Shit._ _Shit!_

"Jaehyun listen to me-" he hurries. There was a reason why he never mentions his family to Jaehyun.

"Imagine my surprise, when I was invited by some business tycoons for a cup of coffee."

Doyoung bites back a sob. Imagining what must have been planted in Jaehyun's head for him to walk away. He knows what comes next. He knows his parents well enough. The very same knowledge that forced him to shelter someone as marvelous as Jaehyun.

He might be Jaehyun's first relationship but he wasn't Doyoung's.

Doyoung had been paired off, matched made, blind dated since he was sixteen. Advantageous relationships. Business contract talks. Family ties. (If those were considered relationships anyways.) That continued until he have had enough.

He remembers clearly screaming at his parents for freedom, stepping his foot down on their endless controlling of his life and finally slamming the door at them when he was twenty.

He received a message a day later that he didn't even finish reading, deleting that shit because he already knows what it says. They think he'll come crawling back to them. Begging. They canceled his credit cards, closed his accounts, they basically cut him off. Not that he cared because he was finally free.

It was a hard life after that. At least he had the mind to hide bills in his university dorm, and thank god for his scholarship allowances. He survived. It lasted for two months until his parents gives in and offered a deal. He will still be their little minion, minus the dates and set ups.

Doyoung was suspicious, but he conceded. Only because he's aware of what lengths they'll go to to tie him down. It was the lesser evil at the time.

He finished school at twenty-three, fled to the countryside, bagged a job soon after, kept to himself mostly and occasionally had to provide assistance to his parents. Then he met Jaehyun two years later at the local college he teaches at when Doyoung and his team were recruiting interns for the small electronics company he was working at.

They were fast friends much to Doyoung's pleasant surprise. After that, he didn't hesitate in making friends. Thinking he deserves it. It was easy to forget how life was before because after Jaehyun he met people who saw him for himself and luckily does not know his family background.

Then just a year and a half ago, Jaehyun confessed to him with a shy glance, high pitched voice and burning ears.

"Doie," Jaehyun coos, caressing his face and snapping him out of his reverie. "It's okay."

Nothing is okay though.

His mind is flashing scenarios of what could have transpired between Jaehyun and his parents. They flashed swiftly in his mind's eye he couldn't keep up. The only thought he was registering however was his parents, surely, had told Jaehyun some lie. They made Jaehyun miserable.

He was going to kill them. It finally clicks in his head. He was fuming. Tears of frustration gathering in his eyes.

He was going to end them. How _dare_ they hurt _his_ Jaehyun?

"What did they tell you?"

Jaehyun's quirks a smile. It was sad, hopeless.

" _Jaehyun,_ " he repeats, assertive, taking hold of the hands caressing his face but eyes begging.

The things he would swallow for this man, really.

Jaehyun slumps his shoulders, averting his eyes before thinking against it and gazes back at him. "They told me you won't be happy in the long run, because no matter what I do I can never give you even a sliver of what you deserve."

Doyoung snaps his jaw shut. He was going to commit murder before this day ends. God so help him, he was going to do everything to achieve that goal.

"They offered me money, which was useless, then they told me things they claim you said about me. They even shared some things about you. I didn't believe them." Jaehyun traces his face with wistful eyes when he murmurs "I love you more, remember?"

It was official. Doyoung was going to set up a protection squad. No one was going to hurt this precious _precious_ man, red-rimmed eyes and his usual beautiful smile albeit they were hesitant and small now.

Doyoung takes a ragged breath in. They had stomped on _his_ Jaehyun's confidence. It was obvious. Doyoung was definitely going to burn their building, their house and their every property. He knows their accounts, he organized those files like a mad man a few months ago. His list of crimes is getting longer by the minute but he doesn't care. He was going through with his plans. How fucking dare his parents ruin this?

"But then you started to cancel on our plans," Jaehyun continues, reluctant "You dropped my calls. You got busy. I didn't mind the first week. But it became two months and just- _I don't know,_ it got to my head, I guess. I still wanted to believe I was enough, but they called me, again. And _yeah_..."

With every word Jaehyun was saying, Doyoung was feeding it into the fire. Those months were the days his parents called in another favor. In exchange for his peaceful life he was to do work for them, and he finished it as quickly as he could.

Mother _fuckers_ , they were planning behind his back while he was doing his part of the deal? Also, if Jaehyun wasn't revealing a single word of what his parents told him, after everything they put them through, then that settles it right? Doyoung will be the most wanted criminal in the entire _fucking_ country by midnight. And he will not regret it, he and Jaehyun have hell to conquer anyways.

"I understand where they're coming from, because that's all I want for you too Doie. You don't deserve me. You deserve someone better, someone-" Doyoung kisses the start of Jaehyun's self-depreciation. He feels the shock his action brought but Jaehyun soon melts against him and holds him tight.

Doyoung was not gonna cry here. He was a soon to be most wanted criminal, he must not cry over something simple as being embraced.

But it wasn't that simple.

For he was experiencing his first love all over again.

His first love from the very beginning, was delicate but firm. Proud but grounded. It was whispered in between sheets, through mobile, or directly to his ears, soft and meaningful. It was in their petty bickers and random debates. It was red ears, plump apple cheeks and bellowed laughs. It was in Jaehyun's triumphant grin as they slow dance at a secluded part of the park, in the way Jaehyun peppers his face with kisses when he is specifically playful, it was in his sweet voice and cheesy lines.

His first love that overflows from each and every finger Jaehyun uses when he's combing Doyoung's hair in apology after a fight. It was in every line of the whiskers that appears when Jaehyun's happy. It was all the love he received from Jaehyun.

Because he knows their type of love was one that reflects. Where its enough to see one side to know how much he loves and receives love in return.

It was the same love Jaehyun still has for him. The whispers against his lips before they steal another kiss, the sagging of his shoulder, the desperation in his hold on him, are enough proof of that.

It was still the same love that taught him to relax, to let himself be lead occasionally. The one that brought joy and laughter, tears and heartaches. The one that embraced his best and worst.

The one Doyoung will always choose.

When Jaehyun pulls away, gently breathing out, the expired air kissing his lips and cold cheeks, Doyoung shivers. Not from the cold, but from the sheer relief of still having Jaehyun.

"I missed you, baby."

Doyoung laughs at his _ex_ ex-lover's admission, wet and so _so_ happy. Wrapping his arms properly around Jaehyun's torso, to leech on his presence and share his heat, he presses his face against the fabric of Jaehyun's turtle neck and nods. "Its been a miserable forty-three days without you." However, Doyoung doesn't know how to lie and sometimes his filter malfunctions so no one can really blame him when he had quipped "What happened to communication by the way?"

Or he's just petty.

Jaehyun groans, drawing out a laugh from him, squeezes his middle before burrowing his head on his shoulder "I'm really sorry, Doie."

Doyoung heard every unsaid words that followed that and it was enough. He feels so missed. And wholly loved.

It's enough.

Doyoung hums, lifting his face a little to press his mouth against Jaehyun's red ear "It's alright."

Jaehyun tightened his hold, if that was still possible and mumbled on his clothes "Is it really?"

_Ah,_ he can already see the news headlines.

They made a mistake crossing Doyoung when he specifically asked them not to touch Jaehyun, his life with Jaehyun and everything that comes with Jaehyun. He kisses his beloved deeply, and was eagerly reciprocated. When they part for air, he whispers hotly "I know where to hide a body." Hot and seductive, like it was some dirty secret meant to be shared during a passionate love-making.

Jaehyun's body vibrates before the bubble of giggles spills from his trembling lips. And because he is Jaehyun, Doyoung's match made in hell, his voice dips an octave lower _-so hot!-_ when he mouths his agreement against his lips "I'm sure you do, baby."

At that, Doyoung grins. Wide, gummy and plotting.

For now though, they will act like their little dramatic exit was a prank. They will share a good laugh with their friends, celebrate Taeyong and Johnny's love, then Jaehyun will take him home- to the new flat, where they will cry while they make up and make love. By tomorrow, their faces will be printed on every newspaper and any form of media.

Or maybe not.

Because there will be one gruesome phone call Doyoung will make that is to only end one way.

His way.

He isn't alone, for about six hundred days now and it will stay that way for as long as he can. If their relationship can succeed at being included in that 1% science suggests, they surely can achieve more, together. Doyoung, after all, is in a relationship with an equally proud and stubborn man.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! ♥
> 
> uh, don't believe the claim lol I just read that on some forum. anyways, kudos, comments or your silent enjoyment are very much appreciated uwu
> 
> ps TAEYONG IS LISTENING TO DAY6!!! I'M CRYING
> 
> ~~
> 
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/potatooneandtwo)  
> 


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